'Modern Family' Appears At 9 p.m. Just As Prophesied In 'TV Guide'

NEW YORK—As it has since the time before the Dawning of Color, the wise oracle TV Guide channeled visions from beyond the veil of this world last week to foretell the Wednesday night airing of Modern Family on ABC. “The hit family sitcom that everybody can relate to has appeared this night at nine o’clock in the East and eight o’clock Central, precisely as the Guide has preordained,” said Minneapolis-area subscriber Randy Tedeschi, who also noted the accuracy of the text’s prediction that the Dunphy-Pritchett clan would be too busy with personal commitments to appear in a nice family photo, greatly vexing Claire. “One wonders if this week’s prophesy of another appearance at the same time next week will also prove true.” Closer study revealed the all-knowing seers of TV Guide somehow divined that Wednesday’s episode would be a repeat.