Hussein Court Shocked By Ironclad Alibi

BAGHDAD—Defense attorneys for Saddam Hussein claimed Monday the former dictator could not have signed a 1984 order to kill 148 Shiites because he was visiting friends in Missouri at the time. Iraqi Special Tribunal Judge Rauf Rashid Abd al-Rahman said the state “has no case” against Hussein after viewing security-camera footage of the 69-year-old buying cigarettes and candy at a St. Louis-area 7-Eleven. “The date is clearly visible in the lower-left corner, and he’s purchasing what is known to be his favorite flavor of beef jerky.” The prosecution was also stung last month by evidence that the 1988 gas attack on Kurdish civilians coincided with Hussein’s two-week Jeopardy! appearance.