Woman With Six Dogs Resents Non-Dogs

ALBANY, CA—Bay Area resident Emily Dobbyns, owner of two wire-haired fox terriers, two shih tzus, one Maltese, and a pug, revealed yesterday that she resents all non-canine life forms. “My family and coworkers and friends are so hard to get along with,” Dobbyns said, petting her pug Skipper. “They’re so opinionated, and they let their egos complicate everything.” Dobbyns added that her little Skipperdoodle would never expect her to drive 22 miles to a birthday party at a restaurant she doesn’t even like.