English
The study of fiction, poetry, and dramatic works that you know, deep down, are no better than the ones you could come up with, if only you sat down and put your ideas on paper. As an English major, you read and carefully study a vast canon of great writing, which, if you ever took the time and let the ideas flow from you, would one day contain your literary works as well. You’re sure you have a celebrated, fulfilling career in writing inside of you; it’s really just a matter of sitting down at your desk and doing it.
Marine Science
The field of marine science has seen a boom in recent years following Niels L. Lindquist’s publication of his study “Oyster Reefs Can Outpace Sea-Level Rise” in Nature Climate Change, prompting high school students across the country to attempt to become the next Niels L. Lindquist. Many colleges have turned to using lottery systems to limit the number of students in marine science classes, as they are unable to keep up with the demand of students inspired by Lindquist’s stirring first line, “In the high-salinity seaward portions of estuaries, oysters seek refuge from predation, competition, and disease in intertidal areas.”
$160,000
Tens of thousands of college students every year choose this particular academic track, often with a minor in 4.66 percent annual interest, having faith that putting their time and energy into $160,000 will pay off in the long term. While prospects had previously been good for those majoring in $160,000, in recent years the job market has dried up, prompting many to go on to graduate school to pursue the field of $135,000 more.
Pre-Med
For students looking to get into medicine, a pre-med path is often the best way to learn a variety of specific subdisciplines, such as which health insurance cards to accept and decline, recommending costly and superfluous procedures, and the best way to spot individuals who won’t be able to afford treatments.
Architecture
Everybody at a construction site gets to wear a hard hat, but only architects get to wear a hard hat with a dress shirt and a tie. Architecture majors know that one day, they’ll be the ones unrolling a blueprint across a surface at a construction site and pointing to things as they talk while those around them nod.
Geology
Geologists are those who study the behavior, culture, language, and social organization of rocks. Geologists spend the first few years analyzing how rocks build communities and interact with one another, as well as their social customs, such as marriage and rites of passage. Typically, geology majors spend a semester or more in the field observing a particular colony of rocks and charting their specific behaviors and intricate cultures.
Setting Your Father Off On A Rant
Encompassing film studies, francophone literature, performance art, and several other programs, this major allows students to send their father on an eight-minute rant about what the hell he’s paying for anyway. Those who major in this discipline often find work in such fields as embarrassing their father when a friend asks what his kids are doing nowadays and making their dad angrily demand to know when his child will get a real job already.
